great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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