dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
this will be a night to untag.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
