why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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