I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
