you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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