So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
