God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
