Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
