someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
