Redeem this text for a blowjob
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
