ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
