if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
