her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
