"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
