I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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