So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Sext me about skeletons
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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