Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
