Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
