never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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