The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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