glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
