Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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