it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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