I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sorry about my life...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
