I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
