were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
