where does the pee come out of this thing
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
