Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
