Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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