Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
