How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
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