Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
