when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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