i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
