Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
