Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My liver just had a heart attack.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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