who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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