You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
it's like heaven, but drunker
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
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