i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
