Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
