all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
