dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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