Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
