I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
