The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
