yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
