i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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