Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
