Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
