i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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