she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
