I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
