think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i think i have two assholes
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
